Confession: I AM Drew Sharp
Mitch's column today is full of shit. As always, he's very clever and dramatic. The Pistons actually won, he doesn't know what he's talking about. Douchebag.
See below for the excellent comment to which I will now respond.
I've been outed...I've been outed by somebody who uses the handle "Total-Realty". I am shamed.
Yes, it's me, Drew Sharp. Oh, how I hate Mitch Albom.
PSYCHE! It's actually WOJO!!! You know, Bob Wojnowski--the without a doubt GREATEST sports writer of this or any generation. Suck it, Mitch. You too, Total-Realty.
Okay, let's be serious. Am I a struggling sports columnist? No. I don't even like sports. I just hate Mitch Albom. That's the thing--because I don't like sports, I would have no reason to hate Mitch if he hadn't started writing SHITTY books that could only be admired by Oprah fans.
Fine, I'll come clean. I AM indeed a struggling sports columnist. Fuck.
Don't you just LOVE the idea of a struggling sports columnist? Awesome.
Next, Total-Realty got all P.C. on our asses--leaving open the possibility of me, Morrie, being a man OR a woman. Dude, women don't know ANYTHING about sports--so how could I be a woman? If I were a woman, my blog would be about baking pies. Or it would be about my feelings. Or it would be about the meaning of love and life--oh wait, that's what Mitch Albom writes about. He's quite effeminate, now that I think about it.
Then Total-Realty, who is a struggling real estate agent in Inkster, used the word "butt" when I THINK he meant "but". Common mistake, pal--as a GREAT writer myself, I noticed that.
Anyway, I'm over it. BUT, Total-Realty, I DEFY you to defend Mitch's non-sports writing. While I do believe his sports columns are laced with smagma, it is his non-sports writing that really is embarrassingly bad. Will you stand here and defend "Tuesdays With Morrie" and "The Five People You Will Get Handjobs From"? If so, I will give you the public forum here to do so. But beware, should you fail in your endeavor, you will become the laughing stock of Inktown and you may well never sell a Shacktown duplex again...
I have a feeling that the author of this supposed blog is in all actuality a struggling sports columnist himself (or herself?). It is so sad, to create a blog where you can whine about someone who is actually successful, and meanwhile you toil away writing quickies to the local paper about the local grade-school sports team.
Mitch Albom isn't perfect butt he's the greatest sports writer of his generation. yOu would do well to emulate him rather than attack him if you ever hope to become half as successful as him.
By the way is you're name Drew Sharp?